life is but a dream

nothing is ever as it seems

Jazz/20/British

It's perfectly normal to be a happy individual.

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ABOUT ME

► Name ➔ Jazz
 Will you answer all questions truthfully ➔ yes
► Are you single ➔ no
► Are you happy ➔ relatively
► Are you Italian ➔ no

► Are you German ➔ no 
► Are you Asian ➔ yes

► Are you Irish ➔ no
► Are your parents still married ➔ totes, and adorable

TEN FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ milton keynes, uk
► Hair Color ➔ half natural black hair that’s grown back and half lightened at the end
► Eye Color ➔ dark brown
► Birthday ➔ 23rd dec
► Mood ➔ apathetic
 Gender ➔ female
► Lefty or Righty ➔ righty
 Summer or winter ➔ I have no strong feelings either way…
► Morning or afternoon ➔ afternoon

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE 

► Are you in love ➔ yeah…I think so
► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ kind of? lust at first sight? hah.
 Who ended your last relationship ➔ both?
 Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ meh, I dunno
► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ not anymore, more afraid of all the situations that will stand in the way of them now
► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ yes
 Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ not sure
► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ yes

TEN CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ love
► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ lemonade
► Cats or Dogs ➔ dogs
► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ a few best friends
► Television or internet ➔ internet
► Pepsi or Coke ➔ coke
► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ I am happy to say I’m with my guy who enjoys a romantic night out
► Day or night ➔ night
► IM or Phone ➔ phone

TEN HAVE YOU EVER

 Been caught sneaking out ➔ no
► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ yes
 Finished an entire jawbreaker ➔ no
 Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ yes
► Prank called a store ➔ no, I’m quite boring, I guess
► Skipped school ➔ yes
► Wanted to disappear ➔ mostly when I get to that contemplatively drunk state

TEN PREFERENCES 

► Smile or eyes ➔ both, let’s go with both.
 Light or dark hair ➔ I’ve tended to have a preference to dark.
 Shorter or Taller ➔ taller
► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ both, both is good

► Hook-up or Relationship
 ➔ relationship
► Funny and poor OR rich and serious ➔ the plan is to find someone rich and get with the guy of my dreams on the side - whilst planning the death of the rich guy BOOM.

ABOUT ME

► Last Phone Call ➔ joe, probably?
 Last person you hung out with ➔ still joe
► Last thing you ate ➔ cola bottle sweets
► Last thing you drank ➔ monster
 Last site you went to  ➔ youtube and tumblr
► Last place you were ➔ tesco’s

FAMILY

 Do you and your family get along  ➔ yes
► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ nah, just messed up situations
► Have you ever run away from home ➔ no
 Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ no

What film students get up to. Making props the safe way. (Kinda.) #propsgal #andguy

Filming has commenced… #soundgal #totesnailingthis #teamas (at The Library)

So Tumblr is the only outlet for my personal situation right now.

Yesterday I nearly OD’d on a mix of coke and MD.

I was stupid. I let alcohol screw up my judgement of how much I should take and I let myself get out of control. It didn’t reach its peak until like 8 in the morning but that’s what happened.

What has truly overwhelmed me is the manner in which Joe handled the situation. He did not allow me to disagree with getting medical help. I feel like an absolute idiot now but he stayed with me throughout.

He was genuine. He spoke such beautiful words to me. And I genuinely have pictured spending the rest of my life with him.

He told me, as he held my hand when I was in the hospital bed that he could see himself holding my hand in hospital for a very different reason (though assuring me he was thinking way into the future). He could see us with a child.

I was so adverse to this but when I close my eyes I can see it with him.

He has also said so much incredible stuff to be previously. He said if there were an oncoming truck in front of me he would throw himself in front of it. (I don’t care if this sounds cheesy, fuck. This is the stuff of films.)

I know I’m young. I know I’m at an age where I am naive and silly. But in this moment - I know I have never loved someone as much as I love Joseph. I feel my love for him increasing every day. And if I had to make a decision to give my heart to someone - it would be him.

I’ve had an amazing couple of days with this guy here for his birthday. Sounds mushy (and I’m not usually) but I am truly lucky to have him in my life. Happy 23rd, Joey. <3

Yesterday’s meal was a treat. Whole sea bass - I think I’m still full! #foodinstagramming #noshame #fish (at Sojo Restaurant)

Phoenix crew + honorary Phoenixer. #coolkids #idk #muchdrink (at Raoul’s)

Jack and I’s creation - Owl Pacino the Phoenix bar mascot. #iswearwedowork #owl #nodiggity (at Phoenix Picturehouse)

It’s so hard when you’re so in love with someone that can upset you so much at the same time.

No April Fool’s here - Happy 24th Anniversary to my mum and dad! May you always be joyful and in love.